Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
