I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
