Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
