She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Randomize
