Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
