Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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