i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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