So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
