Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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