i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
