I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
