I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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