I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
