the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
she smelled like a LAN party
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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