i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
