you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
