you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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