who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize