So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
