I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
