Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
