Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
bring money and cleavage
That was an excessively violent trivia night
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
