totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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