We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize