her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Mom said you looked used
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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