Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
My day in three words: secret purse cake
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
