Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
