It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
