Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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