can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
It's never too late to be topless.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
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