You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
