Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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