Christians are straight up FREAKS
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
