so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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