this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
