I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Drunk is not a location!
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Randomize
