So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
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