I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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