I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
