i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
