Nicole vs. Life
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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