Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
operation harelip BJ is a go
Did you just see the Batmobile???
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I just forgot I was standing up.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
