PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
