why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
