I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize