It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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