As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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