We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
