I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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