You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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