Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
