Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
