You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
