3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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