just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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