she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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