I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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