ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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