I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize