Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
