Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
