Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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