I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
