my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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