No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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