i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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