so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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