i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize